Dear You,

I can’t believe how fast time has fly. You and I have been friends for nearly 7 years. It was only 7 years ago that we were some awkward girls stepping into the life of being a “teenager”. We’ve been through what most teen friends have been through together – A friendship filled with lots of drama. We had our fair share of fights & agreements. We had our best & worst moment. We even stopped being friends for a while, but we forgive and we forget, here we stand as friends. You weren’t just any ordinary friend but my best friend whom I wish I could keep forever. You’re someone who has been part of my entire teenage life and someone who I knew without a doubt, accept my flaws and for who I am. 

It was a bittersweet moment with you at the Airport. It was hard to hold my tears back as we hugged and bid our farewell wishing the best for each other. But I did, because I told you I wouldn’t shed my tear on the day you left and I’m afraid if I did, the people around would do too. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel, I’m really happy for you, yet I’m sad as you have left this country, leaving the ones you’ve loved behind and what you didn’t know that as you leave, you have took a piece of our heart along with you. I knew how much you’ve suffered here, I knew this isn’t the place for you to be in and I’m really glad that you’re finally leaving this awful place. 

There’s so much that I wish to say but I know I would never be able to express them in words. I am really blessed, thankful and grateful to have you as my friend. Thank you for being by my side through thick and skin, for tolerating all my nonsensical stuff. Thank you for staying in my life despite the past we had before, despite the way I’ve treated you in the past, I can never thank you enough. Thank you for putting your faith in me, thank you for trusting me & allowing me to be your personal counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist or whatever you wish to call it, which you usually referred me as your own personal psychiatrist that doesn’t cost a single cent. Most importantly, thank you for staying. 

I’m sorry for everything that I once did wrong to you, I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you in the past. I’m sorry for every thing. 

Three days before your flight, we hung out and we sang karaoke. I dedicated this song to you, “See you again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. One of my all time favorite song. It’s definitely one of those songs that hit me so damn hard on the emotions part. I can’t help but think how the lyrics are so meaningful and it matches our friendship & current situation? 

It’s been a long day without you, my friend

And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

We’ve come a long way from where we began

Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

When I see you again

Damn, who knew?

All the planes we flew

Good things we’ve been through

That I’ll be standing right here talking to you

‘Bout another path

I know we loved to hit the road and laugh

But something told me that it wouldn’t last

Had to switch up

Look at things different, see the bigger picture

Those were the days

Hard work forever pays

Now I see you in a better place (see you in a better place)

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon’ be with me for the last ride

It’s been a long day without you, my friend

And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again (I see you again)

We’ve come a long way (yeah, we came a long way) from where we began (you know we started)

Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again (let me tell you)

When I see you again

First you both go out your way

And the vibe is feeling strong

And what’s small turn to a friendship

A friendship turn to a bond

And that bond will never be broken

The love will never get lost (and the love will never get lost)

And when brotherhood come first

Then the line will never be crossed

Established it on our own

When that line had to be drawn

And that line is what we reach

So remember me when I’m gone (remember me when I’m gone)

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon’ be with me for the last ride

So let the light guide your way, yeah

Hold every memory as you go

And every road you take, will always lead you home, home

See you again, my friend. 

Love, Me

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Be Different, Be Yourself

It actually took me quite a while to gather up my courage to choose this topic to write about today and it also took me some time to figure out how I’m supposed to put this into words since I’m so overwhelmed by feelings.

As you can see in the beginning of this post I’ve attached an image. Just like every other post on here but this is something much more different from what I’ve usually post. Which brings me to my topic for today – Being different.

Dear whoever is reading this,
It’s perfectly okay to be different from everyone else. You do not need to be the same to fit in with everyone. You are where you belong, on earth with a bunch of humans just like you. Regardless of race, religion, body type or sexuality. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE. You are a HUMAN just like all the 7 billions people in this world. Your race, religion, body type or sexuality DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.

If you feel ashamed of who you are because of any of the reasons I’ve said above, please don’t. You are perfect the way you are and you are unique the way you are. Please don’t try to change yourself for society just because they say you “can’t fit in” or you’ll be alone because that is all bullshit. You’ll fit in just right because you are already a part of it. Do not change yourself into someone you’re not because that isn’t you and it’s not going to make you happy.The society would be “pleased” but who are they to have a say in your life? NOTHING.  Don’t hide and Don’t pretend. Embrace yourself and be yourself.

Here’s a little something about me: I’m an Asian, I am born into a semi-conservative family and almost half of my relatives from my Dad’s side are Christian (and they love to follow the rules – Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing and besides, I love my cousins). With that being said, as many may know, being born into an Asian family means things are gonna be a lot stricter than how it is in the western countries. So things like,  having good grades, doctors/lawyers and government jobs are the best, no time for creativity jobs,  no sex before marriage and etc. But there are some things Asians families are really particular about such as – a boy needs to act like a boy, a girl needs to act like a girl, a boy can only like girls and vice versa which means no same-sex relationship, and males over females.

So growing up, I was told to follow those “rules” and I have to act girly because I’m a girl. We got to play with dolls, be pretty, skinny, wear dresses, have long beautiful hairs and put on make up etc. I am pretty uncomfortable with most things that are said above except having long hairs. I knew I was different as my cousins and in fact all the other girls in this country. They fancied make ups and etc while I just don’t. Like give me a pair of t-shirt and short, put on some sneakers and I’m good to go. But I used to think, being different is not a good thing because it makes me look like a freak, like a fish out of water and simply because I couldn’t fit in the category of “Girls”. I can’t behave like all the other girls, I can’t try to be other girls and I just can’t do most things all the other girls love. For a few years in my teenage life, I wasn’t very happy with who I am. I am constantly trying to fit in to society, I am always trying to be someone else that I’m not and I absolutely hated who I was. I’ve questioned myself many times, “Why can’t I be skinny like every other girls?”, “Why don’t I fancied make ups?”, “Why do I not like pretty dresses”, “Why do I not like shopping” and so many more questions. Because I just don’t get it. Why am I so different from everyone else?!

When I was 17, I had this dream (a little irrelevant but you’ll understand why I mentioned this). I dreamt that I died, and it’s the same dream for 3 days. It’s always the same scene of how I died and the same time of when I woke up for the first two days but for the third day, it’s a little different because, I actually saw myself lying in the coffin. Needless to say, I was so terrified that I force myself to wake up. Then it got me thinking, sometimes dream interpret something it could be positive or negative and I found out mine was a mixture of both but then I stumbled into this statement, “dreaming of your own death often happens when you are facing the end of something — perhaps a career, marriage or other major life-altering change. It can also reflect that something has died within the self or symbolize a new beginning or new chapter in your life. It might also be a dream telling you to leave all of your cares behind and start something new. An important fact that the dream may be telling you is to take a look at your own habits and how they are affecting your health, both physical and mental.” It was like a sign for me to wake up because I wasn’t happy with who I was. I need to become who I am truly meant to be and I need to start a new beginning, in a new book. Ever since that day, I’ve decided to stop trying to be someone else that I’m not. So I’ve dropped everything down, no more pretending, no more hiding and decided to be Me. This dream makes me open my eyes wide and allows me to take a look at everyone around me. At that point I realized, everyone is different in their own ways and it’s okay to be different. I embraced my body type, I embraced my race and religion and who I truly am. I’ve never been happier because this is who I am meant to be. Fuck what societies says about how everyone should be. And I realized, I’m not alone as there are millions or perhaps billions of people who are like me and till today I am still happy with myself.

I told myself, it’s okay if I don’t wear make ups, dresses, heels or like shopping. It does not mean I’m not a girl. I still have my periods every month, I like pink and also black and I’m still a girl, just a little different.

Today, I’ve stumbled upon a Facebook video about the LGBT and I feel so happy yet so sad. I was in tears when I saw how happy they were when they came out and embraced their sexuality but, I felt so sad because most of them dared not to let their family know about it. Fearing they would not be accepted and they would be judged by everyone. When I was younger, I simply don’t get how can the same-sex like each other or how a girl wants be a boy and a boy wants to be a girl. I was told a girl should like a boy, vice versa and a girl should always be a girl and vice versa. So why does this happened? Then when I reached my “turning point” in life, I realized there’s no “why” to that question because it is how it is, the fact that there’s NOTHING wrong being apart of the LGBT because they are human who are simply just being who they are. Being different, Being themselves.

Question: Why can’t everyone be accepting and loving? 

There shouldn’t be any boundaries between love. Love is just love. You love with all your heart. You love because you care. You show your affections to them. Love doesn’t restrict who you could love and who you shouldn’t love. But this world is filled with love and also hate. There are many people, who don’t understand that LOVE IS FREE FROM RULES. You do not love because you were told to love. You love because you were meant to love everything around you. It does not have a boundaries around it. If they are happy loving the same-sex, or trying to be who they really are even by going all out in changing their gender, go ahead. Do whatever makes you happy. Do not stop because you’re afraid to show everyone else you are different. Do not be afraid of being your true self. Do not let anyone stop you from your own happiness.

Are the LGBT not humans? Do they not come out from their Mother’s vagina? Do they not eat/drink/pee/fart/shit/sleep? Do they not have hands, legs, face and a body? They do. They are exactly the same as all the other 7 billions people in this world. Just because they are different from their sexuality, it doesn’t make them not human. It does not make them a freak. SO WHY CAN’T PEOPLE BE ACCEPTING AND LOVING? Does them loving the same-sex makes you decrease your life span? NO. Does what the LGBT people do affect your lives? NO. Some might say yes because of how their actions “disgust” them. But they are humans, they are allowed to show affection to each other just like everyone else. There shouldn’t be any restricting for it. What the LGBT does it will not affect your lives, because they are just like everyone else in this world. They love and act the same way.

If everyone is more accepting and loving, how great would this world be?

EVERYONE IS EQUAL – BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. NO RELIGION ARE BAD RELIGION. EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME RACE, HUMAN-RACE. LOVE EVERYONE. NO HATE, JUST LOVE BECAUSE ALL LOVE IS EQUAL. 

Love, Me

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