I was so caught up with everyone’s problems that I forgot I got mine. 

I was so caught up with everyone’s feelings that I forgot that I too, have feelings as well.

Everyone is so caught up by what’s going on in their own world has forgotten that I have my own world as well, for I am just like them, a Human. But for some reason, it seems like I don’t have a world anymore. My world seems to only revolve around people that are around me. 

Their problem, are my problems. But my problems aren’t theirs. They act like they cared, but they don’t. To them, no problem is a problem unless it’s their own problem. 

Just like that, I am remembered yet forgotten. 

I am rememebered for what I’ve always done for them but forgotten that I’m a human too. 

A human that feels, someone who has her own problems as well but is willing to help others more than herself. A human that yearns for just a tiny bit of attention, I just need you to ask if I’m okay. I may lie and said “Yes”, but just show me that you truly care for me as I did for you. 

Sometimes I forgot how to feel, and other time I’m so overwhelm by the feeling of hurt and forgotten. 

Fuck everything else. I don’t need much, I just don’t want to be forgotten. 


No One Knows

Indeed no one knows.

No one knows that I could barely breathe Nor do they know how much I could hold on. No one knows how close I am to falling apart. No one knows how truly broken I am. No one knows…..

They don’t even know I’m hiding my tears back. They don’t even know how much I’m faking it.

I’m so close into giving up. I am so damn fucking close. I’m so fucking tired. I really am. I am trying so damn hard to keep all the falling pieces together. When a piece fall, I pick it up, and another falls again and again and again. This is driving me insane. Maybe I am insane. 

I want to hold on, I am trying to. But, what is there to hold on? 

Dear You,

I can’t believe how fast time has fly. You and I have been friends for nearly 7 years. It was only 7 years ago that we were some awkward girls stepping into the life of being a “teenager”. We’ve been through what most teen friends have been through together – A friendship filled with lots of drama. We had our fair share of fights & agreements. We had our best & worst moment. We even stopped being friends for a while, but we forgive and we forget, here we stand as friends. You weren’t just any ordinary friend but my best friend whom I wish I could keep forever. You’re someone who has been part of my entire teenage life and someone who I knew without a doubt, accept my flaws and for who I am. 

It was a bittersweet moment with you at the Airport. It was hard to hold my tears back as we hugged and bid our farewell wishing the best for each other. But I did, because I told you I wouldn’t shed my tear on the day you left and I’m afraid if I did, the people around would do too. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel, I’m really happy for you, yet I’m sad as you have left this country, leaving the ones you’ve loved behind and what you didn’t know that as you leave, you have took a piece of our heart along with you. I knew how much you’ve suffered here, I knew this isn’t the place for you to be in and I’m really glad that you’re finally leaving this awful place. 

There’s so much that I wish to say but I know I would never be able to express them in words. I am really blessed, thankful and grateful to have you as my friend. Thank you for being by my side through thick and skin, for tolerating all my nonsensical stuff. Thank you for staying in my life despite the past we had before, despite the way I’ve treated you in the past, I can never thank you enough. Thank you for putting your faith in me, thank you for trusting me & allowing me to be your personal counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist or whatever you wish to call it, which you usually referred me as your own personal psychiatrist that doesn’t cost a single cent. Most importantly, thank you for staying. 

I’m sorry for everything that I once did wrong to you, I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you in the past. I’m sorry for every thing. 

Three days before your flight, we hung out and we sang karaoke. I dedicated this song to you, “See you again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. One of my all time favorite song. It’s definitely one of those songs that hit me so damn hard on the emotions part. I can’t help but think how the lyrics are so meaningful and it matches our friendship & current situation? 

It’s been a long day without you, my friend

And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

We’ve come a long way from where we began

Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

When I see you again

Damn, who knew?

All the planes we flew

Good things we’ve been through

That I’ll be standing right here talking to you

‘Bout another path

I know we loved to hit the road and laugh

But something told me that it wouldn’t last

Had to switch up

Look at things different, see the bigger picture

Those were the days

Hard work forever pays

Now I see you in a better place (see you in a better place)

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon’ be with me for the last ride

It’s been a long day without you, my friend

And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again (I see you again)

We’ve come a long way (yeah, we came a long way) from where we began (you know we started)

Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again (let me tell you)

When I see you again

First you both go out your way

And the vibe is feeling strong

And what’s small turn to a friendship

A friendship turn to a bond

And that bond will never be broken

The love will never get lost (and the love will never get lost)

And when brotherhood come first

Then the line will never be crossed

Established it on our own

When that line had to be drawn

And that line is what we reach

So remember me when I’m gone (remember me when I’m gone)

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon’ be with me for the last ride

So let the light guide your way, yeah

Hold every memory as you go

And every road you take, will always lead you home, home

See you again, my friend. 

Love, Me


7th July 2017

Pink sky are absolutely stunning. I can’t take my eyes off the beautiful sky. 

Today’s post is a little random since I just wanna casually update about my life. Today has got to be the best date ever. 07/07/17 my favorite number, “7”. Had a job interview earlier this morning, travelled from east to west and it ended quite well since I landed the job and will be starting next Monday. Somehow I’m very excited yet scared because I really want to do well and I can only hope for the best. Next, I’m having my exam on the coming 11th. Probably should get back to studying. 

All the best to myself!