Wonder

I watched as the water from the shower drips between my hand, slowly goes down to the drain; I looked up and asked, “When will I rise?”

Rise to become the person I am meant to be;
Rise to become the person I truly am;
Rise as I stand up strong with my feet on the ground and my chin held high;
Rise as I conquered everything that is in my way.

I walked out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror.
“Just exactly, who am I”
The girl who’s eyes is filled with tears as she wiped her tears away, there’s was no light in her eyes. It’s as dull and dark as it can be.
They say your eyes are the window to your soul. Does that mean, I have an empty soul?
The days where it seems her eyes were brighten up, many times I wondered if it was real or was it just a show? Many times I wondered, how many times has the eyes filled with tears only to be wiped away again silently? Many times I wondered, when will all these end for her?

I’m honestly getting tired these days. Way too much thinking and way too much crying.
It’s like… nothing ever matters anymore and for the first time in so many years,

I am truly alone.
I am all I had. No one else, but just me.
It’s like I came out of a really dark room and found myself stranded on the road – it’s a long road and then, I just decided to stop and look around.
It was then I realized, I am lost.

I honestly don’t even know why I’m typing all these and I definitely don’t even know what I’m typing.

So if any of you dear readers are wondering what the fuck am I typing.
Don’t mind me, clearly I have lost my mind.

Signing off,

Me.

 

 

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