Dear You,

I can’t believe how fast time has fly. You and I have been friends for nearly 7 years. It was only 7 years ago that we were some awkward girls stepping into the life of being a “teenager”. We’ve been through what most teen friends have been through together – A friendship filled with lots of drama. We had our fair share of fights & agreements. We had our best & worst moment. We even stopped being friends for a while, but we forgive and we forget, here we stand as friends. You weren’t just any ordinary friend but my best friend whom I wish I could keep forever. You’re someone who has been part of my entire teenage life and someone who I knew without a doubt, accept my flaws and for who I am. 

It was a bittersweet moment with you at the Airport. It was hard to hold my tears back as we hugged and bid our farewell wishing the best for each other. But I did, because I told you I wouldn’t shed my tear on the day you left and I’m afraid if I did, the people around would do too. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel, I’m really happy for you, yet I’m sad as you have left this country, leaving the ones you’ve loved behind and what you didn’t know that as you leave, you have took a piece of our heart along with you. I knew how much you’ve suffered here, I knew this isn’t the place for you to be in and I’m really glad that you’re finally leaving this awful place. 

There’s so much that I wish to say but I know I would never be able to express them in words. I am really blessed, thankful and grateful to have you as my friend. Thank you for being by my side through thick and skin, for tolerating all my nonsensical stuff. Thank you for staying in my life despite the past we had before, despite the way I’ve treated you in the past, I can never thank you enough. Thank you for putting your faith in me, thank you for trusting me & allowing me to be your personal counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist or whatever you wish to call it, which you usually referred me as your own personal psychiatrist that doesn’t cost a single cent. Most importantly, thank you for staying. 

I’m sorry for everything that I once did wrong to you, I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you in the past. I’m sorry for every thing. 

Three days before your flight, we hung out and we sang karaoke. I dedicated this song to you, “See you again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. One of my all time favorite song. It’s definitely one of those songs that hit me so damn hard on the emotions part. I can’t help but think how the lyrics are so meaningful and it matches our friendship & current situation? 

It’s been a long day without you, my friend

And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

We’ve come a long way from where we began

Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

When I see you again

Damn, who knew?

All the planes we flew

Good things we’ve been through

That I’ll be standing right here talking to you

‘Bout another path

I know we loved to hit the road and laugh

But something told me that it wouldn’t last

Had to switch up

Look at things different, see the bigger picture

Those were the days

Hard work forever pays

Now I see you in a better place (see you in a better place)

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon’ be with me for the last ride

It’s been a long day without you, my friend

And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again (I see you again)

We’ve come a long way (yeah, we came a long way) from where we began (you know we started)

Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again (let me tell you)

When I see you again

First you both go out your way

And the vibe is feeling strong

And what’s small turn to a friendship

A friendship turn to a bond

And that bond will never be broken

The love will never get lost (and the love will never get lost)

And when brotherhood come first

Then the line will never be crossed

Established it on our own

When that line had to be drawn

And that line is what we reach

So remember me when I’m gone (remember me when I’m gone)

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon’ be with me for the last ride

So let the light guide your way, yeah

Hold every memory as you go

And every road you take, will always lead you home, home

See you again, my friend. 

Love, Me

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Patience

What’s good everyone? My life has been a total mess like always and like every other time I questioned myself if I was making the right decision. 

Every single day I’m screaming inside. Wanting to break down the walls I’ve build and let out my inner me. Wanting to show my vulnerabilities and wanting to break down. But I stay put because how “strong” and “happy” everyone thought I was. Little did they know most of it are just a facade. Even the strongest person breaks apart because we are all humans afterall and what hurts human the most? Feelings. I’m losing this patience I have with myself and in life. God knows how much time I’m left in this world and there’s so much I want to do & wish to do. So much more for me to achieve and so much failure and obstacles to face.

I’m losing my patience in holding on. What is there to hold on when the reason for holding on is not for me but for everyone else? I’m questioning my existence in this life. It’s just one of the moment I have with myself as do every one else in this world. I’m sure I’ll be fine after a good night sleep.

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